Andy update: 11/14/24 part 2

Living in a dark comedy

Today was marginally better than yesterday.

The first night with Andy at home was rough. We still need figure out the right layout of furniture and medical equipment in the living room so it’s easy for Andy (and everyone else) to move around, in addition to everything else on my to-do list. Andy is, as anyone who has visited our house on Sanborn knows, a design maximalist. This does not lend itself to easy navigation with a walker or extra room for a hospital bed. I think we’ll need an extra table somewhere just to hold all the medications.

And so this morning, like yesterday, I was in a constant state of panic.

I usually remain calm in a crisis and am adept at putting my head down and getting through anything. I sing “I Am Woman” to myself in hard times to remind myself how strong I am. (I’m not even kidding. I really do.) Being completely overwhelmed is disorienting for me. But here I am. I’m trying to slow down and prioritize and ignore the stuff that is least urgent, but almost all of it is urgent. To try to get ahead of this, I made an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow to get some anti-anxiety meds.

I’m grateful for the help I had from friends today. Ned met up with us at Andy’s radiation appointment and then took him home so I could run some errands and make some phone calls. Toby Huss arrived in Burlington and then hung out at Andy’s house and waited for the medical equipment company to assemble the hospital bed (originally we were going to use a regular bed, but one night made it obvious it was too tall, so they had to come back and put the hospital bed together).

Then Ned and Toby and Andy took the ferry to Plattsburgh – it’s a peaceful 12 minute ride across Lake Champlain – and drove around town for a while before coming back to Grand Isle.

While they were out, I made several phone calls, tried (and failed) to catch up on messages, and then snuggled on the couch with Meowy for a good half hour. Meowy is a good therapist. Lucky for me too, since when I met with my therapist on Friday she told me she would be going on maternity leave after our next session and wouldn’t be coming back. I know her timing had nothing to do with me, but still, it was not ideal.

I managed to find a home health agency that is coming to the house tomorrow for a meeting, so that is promising. The meeting is at the same time as the appointment I made to get some anxiety meds, which makes sense given how things are going. Hopefully I can move the appointment but if not I will prioritize the home health meeting since having that in place should also reduce my anxiety.

I don’t usually whine this much.

I usually don’t have this much to whine about.

I never thought I’d be nostalgic for the days we were engulfed in a 3 year legal battle with our neighbor but I think that was a little easier. Marginally.

Tomorrow Andy has another radiation appointment, Saturday or Sunday he needs to get some blood drawn to prep for treatment on Monday (I think it will be immunotherapy), and Monday is the long-awaited oncology appointment, to be followed (hopefully) by his first treatment.

We have reinforcements arriving tomorrow, and more the following week too. That plus home health should make this a little bit easier. I am planning to return to work on Tuesday if I get through the weekend without a nervous breakdown.

Thanks for all the emails and texts and voice mails and comments here. I haven’t had time to respond to everything but Andy and I both appreciate all the love.